13 Tips & Tricks From One #CoronaBride to Another
Professional | April 1st, 2020
Hey all! This is Lindsey. I wanted to write this blog post to hopefully help all of my fellow brides who are going through the impossible decision of postponing their weddings because of the COVID-19 pandemic. I am in the same boat as all of you, and just came to the decision to postpone my wedding. I wanted to kind of write out how I’ve been feeling the past couple weeks, and give everyone going through the same thing some tips and tricks of what helped me through all of this.
Before I jump in to that, Kaylie and I both want to say that we sincerely hope that all of our current, past and future clients and their families are safe and healthy, and from the bottom of our hearts reach out to all of you, sending warm and happy thoughts in this unprecedented time.
No matter where you are in the wedding planning process–maybe you just got engaged and are just starting the process, or are in the middle of it, or heading towards the finish line wrapping up all of the final details, this pandemic has completely upended your life. And trust me, I. get. it. My wedding was supposed to be June 20th of this year. We had less than 90 days and were so ready for it to be here. But, all of a sudden, we were faced with the impossible decision that no bride wants to have to even think about– postponing. I was (and still am) completely heartbroken, but these little things that I did the past couple weeks really helped me, and I hope that even one of them can help someone else going through the same thing just a little bit. So here we go.
*Photo credit: Jerry Wang Photography
1) It’s okay to be sad. Or mad. And sad again.
Basically, feel ALL the feels. This is an unprecedented time, and it’s extremely stressful. Be gentle on yourself and allow whatever emotions you have to come up. All of it is completely justified. Cry, yell, and cry some more. It’s more than okay, it’s expected.
2) Lean on your people. Hard.
Always remember that you are not alone in this. You have your people to help you through this. Reach out to your bridal party, your family, your coworkers, they’ve gotten you through everything in your life, and are more than ready to be your support system through all of this. Schedule a facetime call with the people you need most and just vent. They all love and support you more than anything, and will be there every step of the way through all of this.
3) Trust your vendors– they can help and are more than happy to do it.
Your vendors are in just as much of an unknown world as you are. But they also are more than ready to help you however you need it. Need advice or insight on what to do? Ask them. They can tell you what other couples around the same timeframe as your wedding have been deciding to do, and can also just be another support system for you. I’ve been communicating with all of my vendors throughout the past couple weeks, and it really just solidified to me that I chose the right group of vendors that I need for my big day. They’ve all stepped up in huge ways and have been extremely helpful and understanding.
4) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I know I said it in one of my tips before this, but it’s worth repeating. You are not alone in this. You might feel alone, especially since you’ve been cooped up in your house for weeks now, but you aren’t. There are so many other couples that are going through the same thing, and are just as scared as you. There are Facebook groups dedicated solely to couples who are being affected by the pandemic. Join them and ask any questions you have. Or if asking strangers for help isn’t for you, ask anyone– everyone is more than willing to help. You shouldn’t have to bear all this weight on your own.
5) Take time for yourself.
This one is HUGE. I probably should’ve made this #1. Even if you aren’t postponing your wedding, everyone who is currently quarantined needs to hear this– take time for yourself. And take as much time as you need. Don’t be ashamed of it. Take a long bath, read a good book, play a video game. Just do something that you’re passionate about and that never fails to make you happy. For me, the things that have helped me clear my head the most have been going for daily walks at lunch to get fresh air and to clear the fuzziness in my head and curling up with a good book and my cat and losing myself in a good story. It has helped me SO much to focus on something else rather than obsessing over everything wedding related.
6) There is no “normal” way to handle this. But listen to your gut.
When it comes to navigating everything that’s going on, no one knows what they’re doing. There is no one right answer or one perfect way to handle all of this, but the biggest way to help you get through it is to listen to what your gut is telling you. Since our wedding was in June, when all of this first started, I felt like I didn’t know when to make the call to postpone or not because June feels SO far away. But the stress of not knowing, and not having a plan, was affecting me the most. And I knew that was my gut trying to tell me that the stress of the unknown wasn’t going to go anywhere– if anything, it is only going to get worse. And I know myself well enough that I know I wouldn’t handle that well. So listen to what that little voice in your head is telling you, and go with whatever it says.
7) Unplug for a little bit. Or for a long time. Just unplug.
Turn off your phone. Turn off the news. Just unplug from the world. Everything you’re seeing on social media and the news right now is awful and stressful. It’s okay to check in and keep up to date with what’s going on, but it is not healthy to surround yourself in all the negativity. Unplug for at least an hour every day to just decompress and listen to your thoughts. Like I said above, take care of yourself and your mental state above everything else right now.
8) Remind yourself of all the reasons you fell in love with your partner. Those things haven’t changed, and never will.
Was it their laugh? The way they care about people? Whatever those little things were that made you fall in love with your partner– hold on to them with everything you’ve got. Remind yourself daily of all of those things, because it will keep you happy and focused on the positive. And thinking of all of those little things will make you appreciate them even more. Surround yourself with as much love as you can.
9) Make a list of your priorities when it comes time to decide if you need to postpone.
If it’s looking more and more like you might need to postpone your date, sit down with your partner and make a list of what’s most important to you when considering finding a new date. Is it the time of year? Your date specifically? Your vendors? For me and my fiance, our priorities were time of year and our vendors. We met in June, so we wanted to try to keep a new date as close to June as possible. Our other top priority was making sure that we would be able to keep our vendors. We absolutely fell in love with the group of vendors we chose, and we couldn’t imagine our big day without them now. Everything else beyond those two things wasn’t as important to us, so when we started looking at new dates, it helped to have that list to always keep those things in mind. Also- whatever those priorities are, don’t feel like you’re being “stuck up or spoiled” for wanting those things—this is your big day that you’ve been planning for a long time—you ABSOLUTELY deserve to get the things you want most.
10) Have lots of comfort food handy.
This is a very emotional time for you. There is no shame at all in needing to drown your feelings in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Stock up on lots of your favorite snacks and foods to grab in a pinch when you’re feeling particularly down.
11) Try to find one or two positive things to remind yourself of even when everything feels so negative right now.
This can be little things or big things, but whatever they are, find a few positives to take out of all of this to remind yourself of when everything seems so negative right now. For me, it was really little things. We just chose our new date, and the little positive things for me was that it’s on the 12th of the month, and 12 is my lucky number. Also, we realized that by having our wedding on the 12th, it meant that our first full day of our honeymoon would fall on our dating anniversary. In the grand scheme of things, these are tiny positives, but for me, they helped a lot. It was a tiny silver lining throughout all of this.
12) No matter what happens, remember that at the end of the day, you are marrying the love of your life.
Lots of things are changing and are up in the air, but one thing will always remain the same– no matter when you have to postpone, you still get to marry the love of your life. Your person. The person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You still get to build your life together with them, and nothing will ever take that away.
13) We’re all in this together.
This is a completely unheard of time for everyone right now, but we are all in it together. Things will get better, and we will all get back to normal. But in the meantime, love your people, be gentle on yourself, and just remind yourself that none of this is permanent, we will all get through it together.
The bottom line of all of this, is everything about this situation just plain sucks. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Wedding planning is a stressful enough time normally, let alone having to handle a global pandemic on top of it. I really hope that any of these tips and tricks helps my fellow brides who are going through all of this. Even if you take one good thing away from it, I’ll be happy. I just wanted to give a little insight into how I’ve been feeling during all of it, and to let all of you know that I’m giving you all one big virtual hug. Cheers to all my fellow #CoronaBrides!
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